Tight Hamstrings

That's right. Tight hamstrings. The number one thing a yogini would lose, if she is no longer a yoga teacher everyday and has an office job would be her hamstring flexibility. This is what my Paschimottanasana looks like these days:

 ...not what it used to be. Not only does it bother my ego, but it truthfully doesn't feel good to have tight hamstrings. Paschimottanasana is a hard pose to begin with, and it takes a long time to feel good in it. 

I currently work 56 hours a week at an office job (one needs to make a living), but I won't deny that it's taking a toll on me. As I said, the first thing I notice is the tighter hamstrings. A tighter lower back that experiences pain sometimes (before: never). Some funny wrist issues, not exactly CPS since I still do yoga. Tighter shoulders, tight jaw when stressed...and of course, neck issues. I stare at a computer for a long time, and I notice the turtle head Cynthia Funk had taught us happening: the way our heads start to stick out like a turtle when we sit badly...or when our heads "go" first where we need to go as we walk, another sign of not exactly being present. She also had used the "chicken head" analogy and told us to keep our chin tucked back and not cluck :P  

As I continue my existence in the corporate world like I never meant to, I mourn for the loss of my yoga body: I don't mean body in a "shape" way, I mean it in terms of flexibility and comfort. I face some harsh realities: I have more back pain, less flexibility. Less concrete time to go to a yoga class, less energy to practice on my own. May seem ordinary to others, but I think a yogini would understand. 

I try to embrace this and see it as an opportunity to really understand what people who work in offices go through--before I couldn't really say that.

So now this is what I do in the office: 

 ...and oooohh...I get to feel my tight hamstrings. I feel sort of sad about their loss of flexibility.

I still don't know what my life will look like in a year, or whether I'll get to teach yoga full time and have "job security" at the same time (some, at least). All I know is that I miss my yoga, mourn my losses, and feel grateful for what I do have.

I'd just be happier if I could feel good in Paschimottanasana again! that's all...


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